Senoritis? Oh wait..I'm in college now..

Last April I was hit with a severe case of "Senoritis" also known as, I am a senor in high school and I graduate soon so I do NOT plan on doing my homework or studying! For some reason now, I have been hit with it again but now I am a freshman in college and procrastination and I do not get along. I do not know if it is because I have been feeling under the weather or the fact that my stress level is through the roof. Is it just me that is going crazy?

I have been forcing myself to get things done but my computer decided to rebel against me and cause complete havoc by getting a virus because my virus protection failed epically at detected it. Then I kept getting sick and may be faced with the reality that I now have allergies like everyone else is America. (I have never been allergic to anything besides animal fur).

I have found that non-drowsy generic brands of allergy medications are life savers. My eyes are no longer watery and red. Success!

But as for my "senoritis" - I am at a loss. I have made lists and tried to become motivated. Usually listening to Lady Gaga gets me excited and I do work but now its hopeless! To make things even worse, I am taking classes over the summer. I need to get my act in shape!

I think I pushed myself so hard first semester that I am all worn out!

Dear Senoritis, go find someone else :(

Spring Break! Or is it?

I woke up this morning only to look out my window and see SNOW! So much for "Spring" break.

I feel that this spring break has been very rewarding. I have done two events this break...the Reality Check with Danvers High seniors and the NCBI training. I enjoyed doing both of these events because I love to work with people within a group setting. I have been so busy this break with school work and the regular life stresses that I just need a day to myself or a real vacation! I wish I could of gone away like everyone else does when they are a freshman in college! I feel kind of left out. When everyone comes back from Canada or Aruba and asks what I did this vacation, I am going to tell them I sat in my kiddie pool in my backyard during the warm days and read The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks. I wonder what they will think of me?
To be completely honest, I cannot wait for school again on Monday! I miss my friends so much! Everyone is off busy doing their own thing...so I want to hear about your vacation experience! I hope it was more eventful and exciting than mine!

"All men are created equal"

As it is stated in the Declaration of Independence, all men are created equal. Of course, women are too but back in those days women were out of luck with that one. Regardless of that fact, we are all created "equal".

What I have never understood about life is how as a human race, we can be so judgmental of one another. Be judge each other by skin color, sexual orientation, race, gender and religious beliefs. Did our founding fathers no say in 1776 that we were all created equal? Sure back then it may of been in a different context but words are words and they mean the same thing. How are be supposed to function in society if we do not take each other for who and what we are? Is it moral to judge each other by appearances and beliefs? Is it moral to judge someone if they prefer the same sex or if their skin is darker than someone elses? With the world the way it is today, economical crumbling, why not come together as one, all biases aside? Why is it so hard to forget the past and move on forward to the future?

In college I have seen change. I have seen myself and others around me grow into mature, intellectual, passionate people. What if one day we could change the world as students and try to take away the biases that still linger in our country today?

We are all created equal. No one human is greater than another. I believe that as students, if we work together, we can create a world full of freedom and pride of who we are and what we should be able to accomplish as a country and growing society. We have the power to transform ourselves and other around us into more accepting group of individuals. Why not start to make the change now while we are still young and still growing?

How to be thankful

I want everyone to try something that I tried earlier today. I was talking to a close friend of mine who I have met here at NSCC and she told me to do something to help me grasp hold onto my life. (Mind you, she is the most comedic person I have ever met and it was hard for me to take her seriously).

She told me: "I want you to step out of your body (not literately) and look at your life as an outsider. Look at your life in it's entirety and you will notice a few things. You will see things in a different perspective. Things are not always as they seem to be and sometimes you have to listen to the person whose on the outside looking in. You do not notice your mistakes, you do not think you are doing certain things wrong and you do not always see how your life can impact another's." Needless to say, she was right. (As always).

While I looked from what she referred to as the "outside" I noticed that I should be more thankful for my life. I saw some mistakes I had been making and realized that I need to make more of an effort to get things in order. I also saw the beauty in some of the things I have done and people I have chose to share my life with. I am incredibly thankful for what and who I have in my life at this moment in time. I am thankful for the opportunities that have come to me. I took so many things for granted and I took myself for granted.

For awhile I did not see what my life truly consisted of. I am considerably lucky for the life I have. In order to become truly thankful for what you have, you have to look at your life from the outside. From the inside, you see the black and white details and but do not always see the color of your life. It is color in your life that blocks out the gray, shady areas that may make your life seem dim. So take a step back, become thankful, and see the colors of your life.

First Days

The first two days of school have been great. I am taking five classes consisting of world civilizations 2, spanish 2, algebra 2, composition 2, biology and of course the mandatory biology lab. I guess that actually comes out to six classes... It is a big responsibility and I am nervous for the transition. Luckily, I have three teachers who I had during first semester and they seemed to be happy that I chose them as my teachers for the second sequence of the courses. The other two teachers that I have seem really nice. My math teacher is very funny and out going. She makes math fun. I never thought I would use the words "math" and "fun" in the same sentence. Unfortunately, my biology teacher is in Kenya directing a foundation she founded that helps children with disabilities. She left us a video introducing herself and I really appreciated the fact that she took the time to do that. She has one of her old professors that she had in college substituting for her. The substitute was polite to us and was honored that my teacher asked him to take over for her until she comes back (which should be by next week?) He introduced us to the basics of biology and gave an interesting and intellectual lecture about human life and nature. I never thought college would interest me as much as it does. I am so glad I chose to come to North Shore. :)

I want to know how everyone else is doing and how their past two days have been so far. (Positive or Negative...PLEASE leave out names as I have done. No need to hurt feelings!)

Words To Live By

The Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee

On Sunday, I was getting ready to leave my job at Walgreens and head down to the South Shore with my boyfriend for his mother's birthday. Before punching out, I noticed a piece of paper taped onto the wall next to the office door. I walked towards it, curious of what it said. The title was "The Mayonnaise Jar and Coffee". I thought to myself, "Hey, that is a funny title for a story" and I began to read it. It stated...

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar... and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things-your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else-the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

I thought that this was true, and I began to think about it. Why not let go of the little things and focus on what is important to us most? Things that family, close friends and your beliefs. Do not let the little things like stress get you down. Life is too short to fill your jar with sand.

2010 is here!

Finally a new year has come! 2009 was a hard year for me, and I am really glad it is over. A new beginning is on it's way for this spring semester. I am looking forward to meeting new people and doing more scholar events. I hate that my life is so busy and hectic because it is hard to fit in events and keep on top of work, school, my social life and my sanity. I get stressed out very easily, and expect myself to keep up with everything and maintain being good at what I do. One thing that has helped with my stress is my new boss at work. My old manager was mean and miserable but the new manager is really out going and helpful. She is a great addition to our staff! I am actually looking forward to working with her to see how things play out.

I am nervous for school, as always. I have faith in myself, and I am looking forward to seeing what I can achieve. The more I look into UMASS Boston (the school I plan on transferring to when I graduate from NSCC), the more excited I get about my future. I consider myself to be a fairly lucky girl. I am young and have the world in my hands. I have been focusing on my writing and reading more books. I have also been doing research about career choices for my major which will be Social Psychology when I go to UMASS Boston.

For 2010, I have chosen to look on the bright side more often. Instead of freaking out and giving myself a panic attack, I am going to logically figure out the tasks at hand. Nothing in life is perfect, so I have to deal with it and get over it. All I can do is live for today and hope for tomorrow. I might get stuck along the way, but I know there will be better days not too far away.

Enjoy your vacation folks, it will over sooner than later!

A Perfectly Good Heart

During this winter break, I decided to go through some old "rubbish" I had laying throughout my disaster of a bedroom. Within my room I found things from my previous years of high school. Old projects, homework assignments, pictures and letters from friends (and exes) that brought back many memories, good and bad. While rummaging through the clutter I realized that high school was a truly grueling experience for me. For the four treacherous years that I was at Stoneham High School, I went through hell and back. Whether it was with teachers, friends, stress or just the overwhelming realization that what I did in high school would ultimately have a huge impact on the rest of my life. I struggled with my acne and self esteem, confiding in writing and music. I found comfort in friends who turned into enemies and realized that life is not always fair. I no longer let these memories haunt me. Instead, I learn from them and I decided to move on from it by discarding some of these items...

Although I got adequate grades in high school, I never felt that I was smart or somewhat of a good student until I got into the Presidential Scholars Program at NSCC. The effect the program has had on my life has been amazing and I have met some of the most wonderful people in the world. I feel like I have finally felt a place where I can be myself. I had a big personal break through at the last meeting when I came out as being bisexual, something I have struggled with for many years because of not being accepted for it by certain friends and family. The encouragement and feeling of weight being lifted off my shoulders was enormous and a great life changing experience.

I wish I could be flawless, perfection at its greatest. But I know that I am just a girl who grew up in a small town twenty minutes north of Boston with the perfectly good heart full of love and a back bone stronger than concrete. I am proud of who I am and what I have accomplished. NSCC and the people I have met have made me see how much I am able to accomplish and overcome in such a short amount of time. I am a hard worker and believe that as a person I have changed for the better. I am on a road to better and greater things. My first semester of college has taught me to leave the bad and grab onto the good. Your past should not make you into who you are going to be. I get to choose who I want to be and who I want in my life along for the journey into my new beginning.

Thoughts Before Christmas

I am not excited for Christmas this year. I used to enjoy the holiday music and cheer, snow and cold weather. This year, for some reason, just is not the same. Maybe it is because everyone is grouchy, the economy is still in a rut and shopping just stinks in general. I already miss my classes and my professors, sad isn't it? I also miss the amazing friends I have made that I really want to see as soon as possible. I enjoy school and the freedom that comes with it. I love roaming around the building, talking to people and making new friends. Its been a great experience and hate that I have to wait a month for it to all come back. I wish winter break was only a week like it was back in high school. I have no holiday cheer this year, I feel like the Grinch. :(

I am usually festive and cheery during December but I feel like everyone else's lack of happiness has affected me dramatically. I can only hope everyone else has a great vacation and a Happy Holidays!

And do not forget about signing up for classes and financial aid if need be! Best of Wishes!

State House Visit

Joanne, Victoria, Cala, Laura, Angela and I had the pleasure of visiting the State House on Monday. We were invited by the very friendly Representative Theodore C. Speliotis and we got to spend some time with him in his office and we talked about the Scholars Program and what his job as a State Rep entailed. We learned that he is the Chair of the committee in charge of licensing in the state of Massachusetts (all issues concerning consumer credit, consumer protection, the issuance of licenses for the sale of alcoholic beverages, the registration of various trades or professions.) We also learned about the complicated process of how bills were discussed by the representatives and passed. We even talked about how some of them make the public angry. Mr. Speliotis talked about how people can have a strong opinion about something but when they vote in the house they need to review all perspectives and angles and that what they vote for might not be what their personal opinion is but what is right, based on all the facts presented.Mr. Speliotis was so kind, and he prepared us lunch and we got to eat with him and his secretaries and assistants.

After lunch we took a picture in front of the grand staircase with the Representative. It was so much fun! Then we took a tour with a delightful old woman named Mary who although she was old, she was very up to date with her history and very amusing with her story telling about the state house. While we were there we had the privilege of meeting former Governor Michael Dukakis who served from 1975–1979 and from 1983–1991, and was also the Democratic presidential nominee in 1988. After our intellectual adventure to the state house Joanne kindly drove us to Sonic where we got slushies (although she didn't get one because she does not like them). We got back to NSCC and parted ways.

I really enjoyed our trip to the State House and got to know the other girls a lot better. It was a great learning experience and hope we get to go again!
Thanks again Joanne and Victoria, I had a blast!

(Thank You Victoria for your help with this blog)

Swine Flu Scare.

I was diagnosed with a mild case of the swine flu this past week so I spent most of my time laying down, feeling like crap, for lack of a better word. While in bed, awaiting what seemed to be death, I realized I should of taken better precautions and I wouldn't be throwing up and have a fever of 101 due to the H1N1 virus. SO, to all you happy and healthy folks, here are some ways to not be stupid like me and prevent yourself from getting the dreadful flu! (Don't worry, I'm all better now).

And sorry if I sound like your grandmother trying to tell you what to do, but seriously, this thing, is horrible to have.

1) WASH YOUR HANDS!
2) Use hand sanitizer after touching a million things..like money, door handles etc.
3) Keep your hands away from your mouth (NO BITING YOUR NAILS LIKE I DO!), eyes etc.
4) Get some rest. Don't be an insomniac!
5) If you do think you are getting sick, stay home, take meds and stay away from the elderly, pregnant and small children.

Symptoms of the H1N1:
*fever
*cough
*sore throat
*runny nose
*body aches
*headache that will not go away
*chills
*fatigue
*diarrhea (in some cases)
*vomiting (in some cases)

Unfortunately, doctors offices are currently flooded with cases of the flu, but if you are experiencing these symptoms, make an appointment and they may prescribe you something to help ease the aches and pains.

PLEASE take care, and don't freak out over the flu. Keep yourself clean and healthy.

Agoraphobia: The Fear of Embarrassment or Losing Control

Before entering college I had a few thoughts in mind: 1) I was going to let go of my past & look forward to the future 2) I was going to keep to myself, not let anyone get to close to me because I was scared of drama (a lot like in high school) ruining my plans and dreams 3) Study my hardest, and make something of myself by doing so Well, numbers 1 & 3 weren't so bad right? Number 2 was my biggest issue.

Molly's Story and Advice from a Single Mom

I was sitting in class next to a girl named Molly*. Molly told me she was 21, and has a 2 year old son named Austin*. As we were getting to know each other, I told her about this blog and that I needed a new topic to write about. She told me to write about her story.

Molly was 19 when she got pregnant and gave birth to a 7 pound 6 ounce baby boy. Austin's father, Justin*, denied him from the moment Molly got pregnant and has never been in the baby's life. Matter of fact, Justin kicked Molly out when she was 3 months pregnant and has since lived with her adoptive parents and sister. Molly got a court order for a paternity test and it was confirmed that Austin was indeed Justin's baby. Justin, after 2 years, just began making child support payments in August.

It came to my attention that sometimes we all need a little advice…no matter how old we are

Entering college can be as frightening as riding your bike for the first time without training wheels. But, once you get the hang of it, it’s easy. Along the way, we all need some guidance and advice. Your best friend may go to a school fifty miles away (which is hard because now there’s no one to bail you out of those sticky situations you get yourself into), your parents have you under pressure to get good grades, and trying to make time for yourself seems close to impossible. BUT! There is hope! It may take some effort and hard work, but your busy schedule will become organized and you will adjust to your changing lifestyle. Thankfully here at North Shore Community College we have people who are willing to guide you in the right direction, answer your questions and lead you to success. It came to my attention, that sometimes we all need someone to talk to who is within our own generation and who can understand where we are coming from. I also know that I want these things to remain confidential, so that’s what I’m here for.